The realm of Spirit works in mysterious ways.
It’s actually a funny thing, the idea that we humans might have complete knowing about anything. True, we can become celebrated experts through educational attainment and research, or deeply knowledgeable through experience, but how can anyone proclaim to know that they know the complete picture of all?  The highly ascended teachers on Earth who I’ve spent time with have all embodied a deep sense of humility in their personal practice, a profound sense of devotion, and a willingness to take action in what ever way Spirit calls, regardless of the results. Ironically, this willingness and openness is precisely what allows them to channel Sacred Truth and act as Divine Teachers to those who seek their guidance.  With that comes inner knowing, and that is a tool I personally have found more powerful than anything else.
The more I seek to embody this example that’s been demonstrated to me, the more I am willing to disconnect from personal association with the wounding, blockage, and reactive tendencies that I witness within my body, and the more I allow Spirit, consciousness, to enter the dense realms of small self, the less I have any opinion or judgement about right, wrong, good, bad, higher, lower, or any comparative label related to my own, or anyone else’s path.
Most prevalent in my own journey has been the polarity between a deep inner knowing that this Spiritual work is exactly what I’m meant to do, and the ego/inferiority complex associated with needing to be successful, seen, recognized, heard, or otherwise acknowledged as an individual. After all, spiritual ascension is about releasing the ego.  How awful to find out how prevalent it’s been in my own journey! It is one of the longest running threads through for me in this life, and as I’ve continually shown up to do the inner work, it’s now accompanied by a sense of grace, compassion, and humor for how insidious this ego, ahamkara, sense of separateness, is within my being.
Who am I to make a judgement about anyone or anything when I have seen that the threads of all humanity’s suffering, of all psychological disorder, of all emotional pain, of all ego and inferiority, of all atrocity, of all things that I may judge or label in another are potentials within myself? Every being is showing up on our path with an incomprehensibly vast and complex energy field filled with lifetimes of history and experience, trauma, karma, soul intention, and agreements to experience suffering, complete old contracts, and subject themselves to the school of life on Earth for the evolution of their souls.  It would be incredibly small minded of me to label or dismiss or judge another being through my own limited perspective of their path, simply because of the reaction they evoke in my own small self, or because I have some idea that the way they’ve reacted to a lifetime of experience about which I have no personal understanding is wrong.
Over and over I am called to critically look at my inner world through the eye of a Higher Self that I’ve come to find takes many forms, communicates in many ways, and is always willing to provide a perspective that is the essence of compassion. Now I know that any action I take in the world which is adjacent to judgement is not of the Highest Good. Discernment is a better way, and an authentic attainment to the precise path that’s mine to follow. Actions taken in this latter energy release any need for me to have an opinion, good or bad, about anyone else’s state of being. In the words of Ram Das, “we are all just walking each other home.”
When I seek to satiate my own ego, I always end up causing harm to either another or to myself, and I often miss the lesson that’s available in that moment.
But how do we know?  How do we know what is Higher Self and what is lower self? How do we know if we’re being guided in authentic attunement by Spirit?
For myself, I have come to learn that many forces are working on every moment, and that not all of them are of the good. I’ve learned that there is almost always a physical correlation with something I’m doing that’s of lower self, it’s connected to some place in my body where I’ve allowed dense energy to be stored.  I’ve learned that I have to be very precise in looking at all layers of my energy field and of the energies that are working on me in a particular moment, and I have to very thoroughly surrender all aspects of myself that may want a certain result or have a certain goal.  I have crashed and burned enough through executing a path that is altruistic but still at the motivation of a smaller aspect of myself to know that it’s not worth following these threads unless I am sure it’s exactly what Spirit wants me to do.
And, at the same time, there’s no judgement in any path I’ve followed. I wouldn’t have the experience to have this level of dedication to only following the Highest Good if I hadn’t failed so many times before on my own smaller self will.
So, at this moment in my experience, I know that we are all operating within a magnificently complex energy field that is so vast that perhaps no human mind can fully access its entirety.  I know that even when things feel very confusing, there are very precise tools that we as humans now have access to which help to bring absolute clarity to whatever we’re experiencing along the way. I know, too, that it is not always time for us to know, and that part of the ability to withstand the trials of spiritual ascension is FAITH when all around us appears dark.  I know that there are as many paths to Spirit as there are beings, and that there is likely no-one who knows with 100% clarity what the complete right path is for anyone else. But we’re all connected, we’re all interrelated, we’re all doing our part in helping the whole upgrade to a way of being that is easier to be in, and part of that dance is in making mistakes, learning from those who show up in a moment of need, seeing that for all of us there are myriad forces at play, and learning that compassion is an important key in us all coming to embody a way of living that allows harmony.
Inner knowing is a tool that needs its strength built just like the muscles in our bodies and the focus of our minds. We have to practice looking for the energy of Highest Good, and until we learn that a precise calling is available for us to follow in every moment, we just fling ourselves at whatever seems right. And that’s valuable too. It provides us the experience we often need to realize doing the inner work is worth it.
As I find myself on yet another cycle of the Sacred Spiral of releasing dark and embodying more light, another after more than I can even begin to remember or recount, I am present to the complexity of this journey. There are things I once knew that I now know with less absoluteness. There are perspectives I’ve followed which have amazing value but that no longer hold all encompassing certainty.  There are ideals I’ve held which have much value, but that negate the fullness of a life experiencing the full range of emotion and experience. And above all, I see that all ideas I have had of a perfect path, a perfect way, a perfect adherence to anything, a perfect embodiment of Spirit, a perfect anything, take away from the beautifully rich and imperfectly perfect cosmos that allows Spirit to take the journey of knowing its own perfection through the evolution and experience of all beings in all forms.
%d bloggers like this: